Friday, 6 January 2012

Neither mad, nor in coma, just experiencing Hungary

"My name is Ben . I had an invitation , and I woke up in Budapest. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home..." 

Ok, so I've just blatantly plagiarized Sam Tyler's opening speech from Life On Mars, but it pretty much sums up how I feel each ,Hungary
This place is like Life on Mars, 30 years in the past, i feel like the spaceman at King Arthurs court 
 Hungary a old Communist state and it pretty much still is nothing has moved on its infrastructure its shops its old its behind everyone and everywhere else in the modern world 
Stunning place realy nice and some interesting  buildings and statues lovely to see and thats it, there is nothing here nothing particular to see or do so once sight seeing done thats it  ,game over
i consider myself a man of some wealth of experience and varying taste but this place knocked me sideways 
My biggest complaint,besides the rudeness  primitive services there must be no export or import business in Hungary cant be as everything is Hungarian and i do mean everything 
Culture shock aside once past the different buildings and systems and oh thats a light switch etc you get down to nitty gritty ,Living. or lack of  

 Hungarian food gos as far back as 1944 and thats it and EVERYTHING  is bread even if it has a weird Russian sounding name its bread,and this is not France, its bad bread  its salty and stiff and dry nothing like the good old loaf we are used to not a chance 
the food is all spices mainly and mixed of vegetables is salami and salami thats it pork but no ham 
mainly which is fine but is bland and simple and trust me 4 days of nothing but Hungarian food you have had enough 
i was fortunate since fall of the iron curtain western influence has creeped in and we have good old McDonalds who would of thought  McDonalds could save your life 

Bacon is well simply NOT bacon, its what in UK is called streaky, thin as tracing paper and just not bacon slice rasher we used to ,heck you get bacon what do you put it on ?????
Orange juice is bitter not sweet and tastes of anything but Orange so head for other fruits or bottle water which wears thin as well
You see the mighty TESCO think you have a chance you dont , have no choice, its Hungarian or nothing, not like every other city town on the planet where you have imports so got options 
i know i looked 
theres strange chunks of meat i have yet to identify but rather not,no beef no roast bird nothing  so thats your lot realy i thought since invaded and influenced by turks have a kerbab ,wrong,again this here is more fajita and its bad thin bread tastes funny not like good ol donner get at home 

 So dear reader i am suffering i miss my food  

Fancy a night out ? head for a Irish bar the beer otherwise is Hungarian only i know BIG shock , and fizzy cat piss is best description ,dire and thats it your choices
i met blokes who drink wine and no wonder the commies stopped the alcohol business and i can see why
again unlike everywhere Else in the world that serves beers from around the world nope Hungarian and really it  is so bad i dont have words to explain it 
if you remember those fizzy sweets as a kid that pop ed on your tongue well add water to it get idea of the beer ,it has all the beer qualities of.........stale  soda water 
Showers are hit and miss and beds are frankly weird and obviously Hungarian 2 separate quilts and usually 2 single mattress on a double bed,oh and  as hard as iron 

So if visiting Hungary do so but remember to pack second case of food and stay for A short time only
the Communist past sadly hasn't left Hungary and it is eastern and behind everyone and everywhere and is 30 years in the past